THe Monster Mash, A Graveyard SMASH (short story I wrote when I was 11)
January 23, 2008
The Monster Mash The Graveyard Smash
Have you heard of the Monster Mash? I suppose you know the story of how it came to be, right? Well, I’m here to tell the TRUE story to you.
It sarted out late one night, when all monsters where out of human sight. Then a tune started playing and I jumped from fright! The monsters appeared! What an eerie sight!
They were movin’ and a grovin’! Rockin’ and a rollin’! There was no way to stop this party, except to say “Do the Mash!”
As soon as I did everyone stared! Frankenstein and Dracula said “The Mash?” So I explained, “Yeah, you know? The monster Mash? THe graveyard smash? Please tell me you know the Mash!”
“Um…” all the monsters replied “no.”
Then I taught all the monsters the Mash! We were dancing for six hours straight!
It was such a delight that I go everynight! Sometimes I even invite my human friends!
Last night there was a huge surprise. We found out that the swamp monster from the Black Lagoon was also doing the Monster Mash! So if you see Piranha’s jumping around they are just grovin’ along with the music!
Say I Love You For Valentines Day
January 22, 2008
With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, it’s time to start thinking about the perfect gift for the one you love. Whether you are looking for something special on a tight budget or would simply like to add something special to another gift, there’s no better way to express your love than by saying it in a variety of languages.
Find a nice jar and cut different colored paper into heart-shaped pieces. Write “I Love You” in a different language on each heart and place it in the jar. Continue doing this until the jar is full. Add a nice ribbon around the jar and you have a wonderful jar of “Love” to give.
If you want Valentine’s Day to last longer, write each “I Love You” in a different language on a colored, heart-shaped piece of paper. Then place each heart into a separate envelope. For the next two months, each day you can place a new envelope somewhere where your partner will find it making your love - and Valentine’s Day - last a couple of months rather that a single day.
Family Fun on the Rails
January 21, 2008
Imagine your are five years old. As your family arrives at the train station, your hand slips free of your Mom’s and you dash over to the tracks. Looking left, then right, your eager eyes scan the horizon, searching for your train.
Then you hear it. The quiet chugging of the locomotive. The clicking and clacking of the wheels gliding over the rails. The sound of happy families enjoying their ride as they arrive at the station
The engine pulls to a stop; the steam escaping. You run to the first car, eager to board and ride behind the engineer. But this is no ordinary train. This engine is just your size! The cars have seats built just for you! Even still, these cars are large enough for your Mom and Dad to come along for the ride.
With the toot of the horn, the engineer gently pulls the throttle and the little engine slowly starts inching forward. The cylinders pump and the steam chuffs and before long, the engine is chugging along. As you round the first curve, you look back and see the trusty red caboose tootling along, bringing up the rear.
How to take Great Photos of Your Pet
January 20, 2008
We all love our animals. They do such funny, adorable, and cute things. But somehow when that camera comes out they run and hide or they just seem to always be pointed away from the camera when you push the button. Well here are some tips to help you have a better chance at getting great photos of your pet.
1. Don’t wake your pet out of deep sleep and attempt to coerce him into performing for the camera. It won’t happen. Try to take photos of your pet during their routine playtime.
2. If there is enough daylight to take photos then turn the flash off. My cat has learned to close his eyes just before the flash goes off. He learned that little trick quick too! Many times a camera flash is just too bright for them, that’s why they point away from you when they know that you’re taking photos.
3. Don’t try to get them looking into the camera. If there is someone around who can play with your pet just get a shot of them playing with someone else. You can have the photo with the person and the pet or get close to crop the person out of the shot.
A Brief History Of Reverse Painting On Glass
January 20, 2008
Reverse painting on glass has been a form of art expression since extremely ancient times. It is difficult to precisely date a number of much more ancient artworks.
Art history has revealed that painting on glass became quite fashionable in Italy during the Renaissance. Italian paintings on glass during the 14th and 15th centuries were associated with Venice and with the Island of Murano. These paintings were primarily miniatures which later began to be utilised as alters and reliquaries in churches. Gradually a more artisanal approach began to develop in which artists copied well-liked landscapes or painted portraits and biblical representations.
By the 17th century painting on glass had spread to Austria and the characteristics of this work now began to be influenced by a more popular form of art which also led to the development of small family industries of painters on glass.
In Europe the reverse painting technique had by this time reached as far north as Poland.In those times glass-making was carried out by methods that gave glass a very characteristic appearance due to the glass being blown and not poured.There existed certain problems in creating high enough temperatures which allowed for the successful fusion of chemicals that were used, and which consequently permitted identification of paintings on glass from a much earlier era.
Valentines Day Flowers
January 19, 2008
Flowers & Valentine’s Day go hand in hand. Your Valentine will be so thrilled to receive a beautiful flower arrangement! Of course, Roses are known for their association with love. They are available in many colors and can create quite an impressive presentation. For a really impressive gift, send a 2 or 3 dozen arrangement, WOW! Looking for something a little different than the standard red roses? Consider “Black Magics!” With their dark red velvet like petals, Black Magics express elegance, class and true beauty. Perfect for your Special Valentine!
If you want to send flowers, but are seeking something a little different than roses, florists can provide many options. You may choose to send a mixed arrangement containing a variety of flowers. You may choose a tall vase of all Calla Lilies or Tulips. You may also decide to send a flower basket or blooming plant.
Men like flowers too! Consider an elegant vase of all white flowers for the special man in your life. Men have also been known to favor vibrant floral colors, blues, reds, yellows. Even the manliest of men appreciate the beauty of flowers.
The Unusual Characteristics Of Reverse Painting
January 18, 2008
By stepping backwards in time one can discover an important part of art history associated with reverse painting on glass.It was an era that heralded the use of this art form ‘en masse’ during which people in communities could directly express in their own original way what they lived, perceived and felt in their own daily lives. Even to this day many artists who work on glass have been inspired through their links with furniture-making, glass production, the building trade, the teaching profession, or with farming and agriculture.
Reverse paintings on glass often allude to reality, seeking it as an accessory rather than as a necessity. They instead tend to give importance to their symbolic quality.
This is an art technique that pertains to the surface rather than one which creates space or depth. In turn (due to an absence of volume) it also creates an absence of light and shade.
Reverse paintings on glass are often profusely decorative, possibly an expression of the artist’s need to be attentive to ornamentation and detail.
There is quite often a tendancy to use direct complimentary colour combinations e.g. orange with blue, or red with green.
Belief is Closure
January 17, 2008
The CON in CONstructs:
There are many esoteric wisdom schools and many divisions or a hierarchy in each one of them. Some of the initiates think they are all-knowing once they see what their school has placed in the ether to make them think what they want to think. Carl Jung describes something related to this in his forward to The Tibetan Book of the Dead. He makes it clear that once a person is entering the afterlife they will see what they thought they believed or expected to see at first. Astral ‘travelers’ who blunder along with little awareness of history will think they are finding proof of God or alien involvement in Earth’s cultural development. The magicians and priesthoods of the past were well aware most people ‘traveled’ every night. In the pre-Christian era this ‘travel’ was conscious and most people were more adept and aware. The Thoth-Hermes or Imhotep-Asklepios intellectual schools which noted historian Michael Grant tells us was the main system of thought in the Old World is mirrored throughout the whole world.
Banana Republic
January 16, 2008
Like a cat I slumber, blissfully unencumbered, Through eighty per cent of my allotted span, Occasionally awoken, when dissent is spoken, And I invent another cunning five year plan, Lately it was pensions, that were being mentioned, So I borrowed from the French and Robespierre, Scrap all that went before, saved by tooth and claw, And let my all equal Citizens appear, Currently it is time, for me to be in my prime, For there is another election looming, I have to appear sincere, for part of this coming year, And assure everyone that everything is booming, Never mind strict quotas, Ive imported multitudes of voters, And told them which party let them stay, Though Ive rigged the postal vote, and defamed everyone of note, You never know what might happen on the day.
So to be on the safe side, I swallow all my pride, And allow my people to hear my hallowed voice, And roll out the charade, put on the facade, And even make believe they have a choice, Next time around the crown, will be trampled underground, House of Lords and Lord Chancellor history, With the other Chancellor gone, I alone will soldier on, Yes, then there will only ever be me, Ill hold elections for you, as all dictators do, And fill positions with those that grease my palm, As for civil unrest, there is always house arrest, Or secret imprisonment for those that mean me harm.
Photography 101 Part 2
January 15, 2008
Basic Composition
Now that you are beginning to understand how your camera works you can begin to understand basic composition. I know that many people that I’ve talked to think that photography is just pointing your camera and taking a photo but it’s more than that. After you understand how your equipment works you can begin to get into the real art of photography and that art is called composition.
Basic principles:
1. Use all of your available space. Fill the image with the image. If the reason that your taking the photo is your daughter’s beautiful face then get closer. If you’re taking an image of the breathtaking valley before you. Fill the frame with the valley. Keep distractions out of the frame. They’re called distractions for a reason.
2. Look at the forms in your image. You almost have to look at the people or the landscape before you in their simplistic geographic forms. A good way to learn form is to practice taking photos of still life objects, that you can arrange into pleasing forms. A good photo is always a beautiful arrangement of form. Whether it’s the beauty of a woman’s face, her features being forms, or a wonderful landscape, trees, rocks, and hills being forms.
